back

Back in the land of red dirt

Back in the tack shed with that same ol' smell

Back with the chore buckets 

Back around the dining room table where we still use our water bottles for drink instead of cups

Back in the life of the ranch

not much need for GPS for memory guides me instead.

first off, for context :

>unit girls aka mentors- ms tiffany and ms samantha. i knew ms tiff from before. i did not know ms sam. these girls live at the ranch house. where the ranchers also live.

>house parents at the ranch - mr doug and ms sharon from montezuma kansas. they have a house in town and come to the ranch daily.

>administrators - mr todd and ms regina from gentry

>head mentor - ms katie from deritter. she lives at the ranch house.

>the folks i live with - mr danny and ms trula. also the same couple my unit sis and i lived with for 3 months last time i was here.

>the clients are called ranchers. we have 6 at the moment.

so the road trip here was just a good time. my friend shaylynn drove down with me since she has some friends here in gentry. she's a good one. we had quite a chill time. every herd of cattle was pointed out with the basic statement ''COWS!'' we both have a fondness for animals.

saturday we left home. and drove till omaha. that night I did not sleep well... my mind was turning summersaults. I woke up Sunday morning and the verse "be still and know that I am God" was on my heart again so I was like "mk. we are just gonna go with that. anwe will be ok."

sunday was the day. in the afternoon we toodle up that familiar driveway (at mr. todd's house) and spot all the familiar vehicles. ahhhh, yet the heart was sloshing around in ribs. all of the ranch people were there, except for ms tiff. slightly overwhelming to meet everyone all in one shot. but also it made my heart giddy with excitement to hug these dear humans again.

later on, i headed over to mr. danny and ms trula's - the place im living while im here. unpacked. a chill evening.

monday.

slept in.

off to the ranch i head.

down the dirt roads. past that big uprooted tree that still lies in a cattle pasture. past the amish church. down the road that we used to go on morning walks. past that pasture we went on trail rides. and then the sign over the arch way above the driveway's entrance, announcing the place of raising hope ranch. driving up that steep driveway and the those two dogs loudly proclaiming that a vehicle is here. this place still has home vibes.

shaylynn meets me there and we go on a lil self guided tour.

shay leaves. and i head up to the house for lunch. school in the afternoon consisted of ms. sam (unit girl) teaching school and i sat in the back of the classroom observing. mr todd and the girls did chores and i joined. i went back to mr. dannys for supper. and evening was spent curled up on the couch reading and then mr dannys got home from a meeting and we sat around and yacked about life's complexities.

tuesday. my day off already! well I headed over to Cafe on Broadway - my favorite cafe here and sat there for a couple hours. walked around downtown Siloam. sat by the water.

then later afternoon, I went and saw Bri. (a teacher here that I will talk about lots pry cuz we know each other from before and I suspect we will do a fair amount together;)

supper with Mr Danny's. and then in the evening, I went to volleyball. And. I actually played volleyball. my 19 year old self would be gobsmacked.

Wednesday. I had the morning to kill time so slept in a bit. Zoomed off to some hiking trails in the woods and walked it while listening to a podcast. Came back to the house and vacuumed out my car until my mini vac battery ran dry. Since it was nearing lunch time, I grabbed by stuff and headed off to the ranch. Had lunch. At lunch the girls are asked wat they learned that morning.

After lunch mr Todd and ms Regina and I had a good pow-wow about ranch life and what my role would be. then, ms tiff and I sat in the sun on the deck n yacked. at 3 today was school which was science and working on their memory books. Afterwards it was chore time. Ms shar, couple ranchers and I headed down for that. We finished on good time so ranch girl and I swept the tackshed. Once barn activities completed, I head back to Mr Danny's for a steak and potato supper. Then I got ready for uth. it was singing and snack at Jason and Carrie's (former ranch board members). Brianna said I could ride with her and co-teacher so I met up at teacherage with them and we went to uth. It was lovely to see Jason and Carrie again. The evening was a good one. This uth group is comical. 

Thursday. 

Up and off to the ranch by 9:00. At 9:30 school starts. And trading post is involved on thursday mornings also. Ms tiff taught. I observed again. Lunch. A former ranch girl and her folks were out. After lunch we all gather around the living room to hear former ranch girl talk about post ranch life. her folks shared too. it was really neat.

once they left, the rest of us stayed sitting around the living room and we had our own meeting. this time it was for a vote up. what's that? i wondered the same thing until i experienced it today. ill explain that at the end of the letter.

so every thursday us authorities have authority MTG and since today is thursday that is wat we did. we made coffee, grabbed a bag of cookies, and trucked out to the school room. we sat around. mr todd started us out with a prayer and then we dive into discussing all things. they say its something they look forward to and its a very good team-connecting time where we all get on the same page. i can see that.

ms katie and i did scheduling. Then I sat and talked with ms tiff while she cooked supper.

ms tiff blessed us with a chicken fettuccine meal. I came home and sat in the living room to write but then mr dannys got home and then we just yacked until bedtime.

friday

all the ranch authorities headed off to Walker Missouri for the parent seminar. except the unit girls and myself. we stayed back with th ranchers. i got to the ranch by 9ish and they were already deep into cleaning. so for the ranchers and unit girls, the day consisted of cleaning the house, doing laundry, packing up for home visits, quiet time, chores, and all the other many little experiences that happen on the daily at the ranch. i worked on scheduling. after supper we did brain gyms, stretches, and prayers. then bedtime for the ranchers and i came home.

tomorrow. unit girls, ranchers and i will all pack into the chariot (the big white van) and head off to Walker for the girls to be reunited with the parents. then the parents n daughters will all go home for two weeks.

>observations

Im not scared of these girls. Last time I was here, I truly was a lil terrified of these girls and I don't think I realized how much until now coming back, I notice how calm I feel when I'm among these girls. I think it has multiple reasons why it is this way. one reason - im older this time and im not as close to their age as i was when i was 19. two reason - im more educated this time around. and this place has a safe vibe about it.

awareness. goodness this life is all about awareness. awareness within yourself. awareness with the girls and what's happening amoung them. awareness with the tools. here, one has to be constantly aware, outwardly and inwardly.

which brings me to another point. here at the ranch, you get opportunities to work on yourself, all the time. i noticed i do things that the girls get called out for. example - they get called out if they interrupt. and i notice i interrupt alot. and its something i want to work on.

its weird to be back. and its good. and the reason i say its weird is cuz there is so much familiarity blended with a whole truck load of new stuff too. so its a weird mixture but the reason i say its good cuz that is what it is - its a good mixture. i sense my heart getting quickly weaved into this life n i just really want to give it my all. i have confidence i will be okay. the team we have here seems solid and there are many hands on deck all the time.

-----

k so for the vote up situation.

I know people have strong opinions of the ranch. And i just wish everyone could have sat in the ranch’s living room this afternoon and i wonder if some strong opposition towards the ranch would have dissolved a touch after witnessing this all. 

So at the ranch we have a level system. Level 1, 2, 3, and 4. They start out as 1 and the end goal is level 4. each level has different restrictions and requirements. and obliviously the higher you are the more you are allowed to do. When a girl feels like she is ready to move up a level, she can request a vote up. first, they asks for signatures. couple days later, we all sit around and do a vote up. Thats what happened this thursday afternoon. 

This rancher was on level 2 and wanted to step up to level 3. She stood before us and shared with us why she thought she was an advocate for level 3. Mr todd and ms katie asked her some questions and she answered them. One question got her emotional. She had some really good thoughts and hindsight. It was really neat to see how she handled it all. She was asked what would happen if she did not get the level up and she responded that she would be okay and perhaps it would be for the better. 

Mr todd handed out ballets and we all wrote down a vote. Since i had only been here a little while i truly didnt know exactly wat to write. Anyhow. mr todd gathered up the votes and then the girls were all sent to their rooms for quiet time. 

We had our authority meeting. 

It was concluded to keep her on level 2. Ms tiff wrote down feedback to be given to the girl. 

So once the authority mtg was ended, we gathered all around in the living room again with the ranchers to share the news. Mr todd started it off by telling the girl she would not be leveling up. The girl was sitting on the couch and mr doug went and sat on the carpet before her. She held eye contact while mr doug shared with her all the feedback we had pulled together from the authority mtg. He talked in a low, soft voice. He explained to her that we thought it best to keep her on this level to give her a firm foundation, instead up upping her to the next level right before home visits. Since she had been so happy the last while, she perhaps needed more time to just BE at this level to fully secure the foundation of this level. this does not mean she cant go home and practice level 3 stuff - she totally still can. She was given time to share how she felt. She was disappointed but okay and she took it well. I think we all were impressed with her and the maturity she displayed. 

Then mr doug sat down on another couch between some girls and we furthered discussed a few more things and then mr doug said, ‘’ive never had such a good feeling before homevisits as i do right now.’’ 

And honestly. dear ones. this whole time the tears were at the surface for me. It truly was so powerful how this place works, how the level system works, how these girls respond to care, and how gentle mr todd’s and mr doug’s are. I dont know if im properly painting the whole pic of this afternoon for there is just soooo many details that could thrown in but i also want to respect all involved and not overshare. Anyhow. Just know that this place is powerful. And there are many good things happening here.

k i feel like i wrote this all in much hurry so im not sure if it all sounds coherent. some letters will be thrown together like this and some i will take more time to compose. right now, i need to run and do my laundry and get some shut eye and plug in this laptop for its dying.

i hope you all are doing well and i hope the february blues aren't to blue. do take care dear ones.