coffee and questions

if you could grab coffee with Jesus, what question would you ask Him?

i think.

and ask.

''what am I missing… what do you wish I understood?''

‘’My love.’’ 

those words fall into my brain right after I ask the question. 

if i'm honest i really was expecting something different than that.

love is such a generic answer.

I wanted something new, an earth shattering answer. 

and then I feel reproved for my reaction. 

tap espresso machine on,

unfold laptop, 

pull up a wooden seat,

and my hot coffee and i 

listen

His love. 

He wishes I understood His love. 

oh my mind is so feeble

perhaps His answer is earth shattering. 

why do I not let myself know this love more?

why are we humans so walled up 

to His love?

the thing is

He loves us just the same amount

whether we are aware of it or not

so why not

open the hands

and ask Him

to actually show us this reckless love

its vulnerable

yet

where is our belief?

for 

being vulnerable with Jesus 

is literally the safest place to be

Jesus will be as tender with us as possible

why do we not believe this?

why do we push this love away?

love is the most powerful thing, not?

how are we humans

that stuck up in ourselves that

we hold limits toward

our very Creator 

this unbelief, 

when does it become sin?

the hot coffee sits waiting

i wonder

if Jesus was sitting at this desk with me,

if our coffee would even get sipped,

for i wonder 

if i would be to lost in His words 

that i would forget about all else

love does that.

this love makes us easily forget about earthly things

its the type of love that you get immersed in

changed in

so many of us are meandering around this earth

naive.

we simply do not comprehend simple love

perhaps we would not get frustrated

with waiting

if we actually saw the reason why

God was asking us to wait.

because

if we truly let ourselves

daydream about the reason

of how God 

absolutely has the best in mind

for us

specifically 

would we actually be frustrated at His ways?

maybe so much of love

is being quiet.

because love feels like home

and when a soul feels that safety 

it neglects striving.

it can be quiet.

so maybe

to start 

knowing this wild love

we need

a hot cup in hand 

and a quiet seat 

and a simple prayer of

Lord show me this love.

help my unbelief.

listen…

wait

for His reply.

perhaps we are all surrounded

in a ocean of perfect love

and we just need to unclench the jaw,

open

the eyes.

i believe

this love is all around.

in every sunray and every raindrop

i read psalms 23

and swallow my lukewarm coffee now

what if we actually believed 

He was enough

for every need?

what if we actually believed 

we did not lack one single thing

for we had it all

with Him?

how would we react to life 

if we actually knew this love?

if we knew in our hearts

that absolutely nothing

could separate us 

from this love that pursues

each human on this earth

continually.

not one awkward encounter 

or misplaced comment

or stumbling moment

would make Him think less of you

for the love is based off His character

not our behavior.

nothing can destroy that love

do we even know what unconditional love is?

the more that i write

the more i want to know

this love

what would happen

if we believed

He was preparing us,

not criticizing us.

i reach my phone and type a text

to a friend

''everything God does is love, right?''

the reply is on the screen quick

''everything God does is love.''

''so taking His people Home is an act of love?''

''yes. an act of great love.''

which. when it's worded like that. I'm like "duh.

it is love to bring people home".

well i can take that as a healing nudge or reject that.

really

everything He does

is so wildly saturated in love

we cannot even comprehend it

alone.

i turn back to the Bible

what if we believed these common words

on these crinkly pages

what would happen to us?

do you not wonder too?

what if we actually knew this personal love,

for each soul 

that's walking through walmart. 

what would happen if we actually 

surrendered to this love 

even just a bit more 

than we did yesterday?

how would we view 

minor interruptions throughout the day? 

how would we actually respond

to our devotions when we know

we would be having personal quality time with the Creator 

of our very soul?

''God's way of loving you is giving you peace''

house mama said that the other day.

what if we complicate this all 

way more

than we ever want to admit?

why do we fear this perfect love?

is it because for us to know it

we need to be surrendered?

and for some reason surrender is so terrifying

to us humans

but surrender can be so safe

actually

we want to bring something to this deal…

humans crave to earn,

and pocket

the love that we desperately fish for.

we believe we need to do

something

to be loved unconditionally

what if we called that lie out?

truly

how would we live differently 

if we knew that all we needed to do was 

open our heart

to receive this love?

and once surrender is known, 

obedience is necessary. 

but here's the thing,

we want to obey Him 

when we are being filled up with His love. 

saying ‘’yes’’ to Him looks different 

when we have surrendered

head over heels into His love.

love changes how our hearts recite

this world

what if we abandoned pride

and simply choose

to believe?