feeling good-natured

8:20 am monday morning the chariot, loaded with 10 humans and pulling the canoe trailer, slowly ambles away from the ranch,  leaving behind our comfortable beds and our sanity. 

we have a 4 hour drive to lake ouachita. 20 minutes down the road, there is opportunity to work on personal trip goals for the convo on canoe partners leads to a slightly opinionated discussion. 

after that's resolved, it's a quiet ride.

cracker crumbs. our braided hair with handkerchiefs. some sleepy eyes and some reading. and the rain has just watered the earth. the sky is clearing. a rancher rests her head on ms Sam's shoulder.

upon arrival at the lake we unload canoes, tie down our water buckets in them, slip on the water shoes, do all the things you gotta do and then set sail into the lake. 

this lake is massive. it has 200 islands. the plan is to start canoeing and at some point, spot an island we would like to call home for a few days. and set camp there.

canoe partner and I could not seem to figure out how to paddle this canoe in a straight line. she likes to laugh. so we laugh at ourselves and wiggle around that lake for a hot minute trying to get our rhythm and strokes in sink.

''are you hungry?'' i ask

''im starving.''

''okay lets stop and snack.'' so we rest our confusion and munch on snack while the rest of the crew keeps on paddling ahead. after a bit we manage to catch back up with them.

we are paddling for awhile when a girl asks for a round up. I blow the whistle. and in the middle of the lake, we round up our canoes together. and so begins a lenghty circle up. in one of the canoes, the two ranchers together were not seeing eye to eye on things. frustration and anger was rippling out of them. one of them is pretty stuck. i dont know how long it was but at on point we start feeling raindrops and i look at ms tiff and we exchange a eye contact convo. we know we are out here till this is resolved. weather it pours or not.

it does get resolved eventually.

and we are off again.

a island not to far away is spotted and we decide on it. we canoe to it. get out and walk around. it is perfect. nestled in the trees is a campsite, many ideal spots for popup tents included with a fire ring. it makes me smile alot. it could not be more perfect. so we unload our canoes. and start setting up camp.

on the rock beach we sit with our jet boils and have oursleves supper. menu is burritos. meat mixture has been deydrated. also salsa has been deydrated. and we combine that in our jet boil with equal parts water and once its rehydrated you dump that into a tortilla. and tada. you got yourself a burrito. not everyone was as much fan of it as some were.

a cup of hot cocoa and a vast body of water in feet from you as you sit on the rocky beach and stare into the sky, with your ranch family around you, i mean seriously - it cannot get better. i smile and look at my fellow authorities. how are we so lucky to live this?

so all day I felt lightheaded but as we were setting up camp, it got worse. i felt things closing in on me and my lil dramatic part became scared i was gonna faint. for the rest of the trip, the lightheadness never did leave. but i just kept guzzling water and i was alright. i think it all comes from lack of sleep. 

monday eve, we are sitting around the fire singing and suddenly someone comments on the sunset. “ok. we need to look at that thing. lets go” ms tiff states. and so we all hop off our buckets and bee line it for the beach. we stand on the rocky shore and stare at the gigantic red ball sinking. it's breathtaking.

i can't look away, this sight is addictive.

the sunbeams.

heaven saturates my thoughts. 

and the abundance of God's goodness is so real.

i stand there and let the silent tears come

I turn and look over my shoulder at the mentors. I'm not the only one tearing up. 

{that sunset did something in my soul I can't quite explain. sometimes I feel like we think the only way you know God more is through heartwrenching things. and I'm realizing that it's not always the hard things that make our connection close. the good things can make our connection just as close to Him. }

we head back to camp, finish goal convo, eat oreos we brought along, and then have circle prayers. then we all scatter around in the woods brushing our teeth.

this night it rained but it was not a bother at all. just a steady rhyhtmn of rain droplets on the roof of the tent is quite peaceful.

tuesday. after breakfast of oatmeal around the fire, the crew went down to the river to enjoy some good ol fashioned canoe tipping and I climbed back into my tent and slept an hour. that felt divine.

after waking up i stumbled out to the beach. and ms tiff and ms sam hopped into a canoe and paddled off on their own self guided adventure of the lake, while i stayed back with the girls who were swimming. with great interest i paced the beach and found rocks. such a old soul thing to do i know. buuut these rocks were like the flat kind, the kind you can make the coolest art projects with.

after lunch we all had quiet time. I crashed out for 2 hours again. it rained during quiet time. then more swimming occurs. so i did the diaper trick - where you climb into the life jacket upside down and stick the legs in the arm holes and it resembles a diaper. then you can bebop anywhere in the lake and its my new favorite way to hang out in water now. i have no idea if that description made any sense.

then its supper time. down by the shore we go again, with our cook pots and our bags of dehydrated mac n cheese.

around the fire we gather and sing memory songs.

and then back out to the shoreline we go to watch another heavenly sunset moment. we keep on singing memory songs.

''i dont know where to look, its all so pretty.'' ms katie says as she surveys the whole sky from east to west.

then back up to the campfire we go, talk over our goals and say the prayers and off to bed the girls go.

wednesday. starting the day off by sitting on the shore, watching the sun, and simply listening to the peace of this moment, is pure devotion. no book needed this time. this all speaks God so clear.

breakfast of oatmeal again. and then more swimming.

camp is packed up.

and canoes are loaded.

and we hit the water again.

headed back to the chariot, but with a detour in mind. well maybe the detour really did detour a lil excessively. but a couple hours later we spot the chariot. its beastly hot. and im just thankful to get all of us off the water because i can almost imagine heat strokes coming from this because these girls struggle drinking enough water in this intense heat.

arrive at shore. high-five the partner.

unload belongings from canoes, load canoes onto trailer and ratchet strap all things on. ratchet straps are confusing. i have it on my bucket list to learn the knack of them. so far i cant honestly cross that off.

we sit around on the ground and snack from our almost expired snack bags.

and then we all pile into the chariot.

and ooooh the smells are unique. kinda repulsing honestly.

keep armpits down and feet on floor and lets go home.

and the four hour trip homes begins....

and ends...

and with our sunburn and stink, we pull into the ranch driveway. mr dougs have the most delicious hamburger fry cooked up for us. around the table we sit, weary and happy, and share our views on the trip. we rate it. most everyone gives it a 9 or 10.

sometimes i still can't believe 4 women who are in the 20s and have no professional training, pile 6 fragile teenagers into a big ol van and off to the wilderness we take them.

and it works.

and all we have is simply faith in a Father who will guide us through each moment.

and He does.

a memory cluster

•ms tiff was the 'camp dad'. she was in charge of the fires and tucked her shirt in like a dad.

•naturally, ms katie took the ''camp mom' title.

•i took the role as 'camp gramma'.

•ms sam spoke in accents. british. southern. australian.

•so after each meal, we wash our cookware in the lake. one girl wades all the way in, pot and cups in hand and washes it way out there. her whole body gets a washing, not just the cookware.

•"I don't know why I don't take my own advice" rancher says

•"if you are angry, try snapping wood. see me for more anger management tips." rancher says

•night 2 I was fixing to offer oreos to the girls again and suddenly ms tiff comes whispering into my ear. "don't offer oreos cuz ms sam n I got into them and there aren't enough left"😂oh ok.

•our campfire convos. one was about love languages. another convo was on the enneagram.

•one girls prayer "thank u God that You've taught me that the littlest things are the happiest and i don't need big huge things to make me happy.''

•"the sun is sunburnt" rancher says about the red ball in the sky.

•so the forecast was thunderstorms for all three days. the prayers got ascending. you know what? God handed us the best weather. a couple times the skies looked a lil dubious. and during one night it rained for awhile and during another quiet time, there was a nice lil shower. but other than that. we had abundant sunshine. thats such a display of answer prayer.

overall, it was such a good time. being out there under the sky, does something for the soul.

the camping hair.

sing along songs. sore muscles. sunscreen skin.

the seriousness of life seems to fade a tad. the heart seems to exhale a bit deeper.

i think we all came back with a bit of a reset.

as always, thankyou for the prayers♡