friendship

so it was thought up. n booked. for us youth girls to go on a lil vacay at an Airbnb. hour and half away. a massive, quaint house. that has bout much character as a group of youth girls. 

the weekend is here. 

we enter this fully furnished wooden beauty, with shrieks of delight and anticipation. we run up 2 flights of stairs, stopping to peer into every nook and cranny. also there is a basement. but it's more storage and pantry style. 

we curl up on couches in the living room. or lay on the carpet. 

in the fireplace, a fire is ignited. 

snacks appear. 

as well as laughter and stories, with a touch of inappropriateness. we are 14 girls, with opinions and vibrancy. 

we go to McDonald's for fries. some head to timmies. 

the night hours slip away...

i find myself upstairs in the attic, debating on topics and google is pulled out when things need to be clarified. i find myself nestled up on a fancy high bed, sipping sparkling apple juice, and discussing all types of grief. i find myself lying on the living room carpet, giggling, and convo runs rampant. and then i find myself curling up on a mattress on the floor up in the attic, while shrieks of laughter still drift up the staircases. i don't have night owl vibes in me. 

in the morning we take a flying leap onto a bed with a couple other girls. and with stinky breath and droopy eyes and full hearts, we giggle and tell more stories and also embrace silence too. 

we must go to timmies for breakfast. and sit around to devour breakfast sandwiches and blueberry fritters and cold brew. 

we come back to house. we curl hair, dress up all fancy, apply lipstick and then indulge in a high tea party. sandwiches. scones. strawberry tarts. and a mix of 3 teas. and tea cups and saucers from mama's collection.

it was captivating.

and yet not everyone of us feels at home in those settings. i giggled a lil uncontrollably at first cuz i felt so out of my comfort zone and i didn't know HOW to be such a fancy lady. and all I wanted to do was make crude jokes. and yet this was so good for me to actually put the effort forth in being graceful and ladylike and embrace all these fancies. 

i had this moment where i stood by myself watching a group of girls carefreely yabber as the sun was streaming into the window onto them and i smelt the fireplace as it contently crackled away and we were all dolled up and i just stood there and whispered to God how thankful i was to be alive. 

we washed dishes, piled sheets in a corner, and gathered all belongings. while we were washing dishes in this quaint ol kitchen and packing up food, song broke out. girls would come from other rooms to add their melodies. we let it roll, some by memory, some by cellphones screens.

we meandered home. weary and full. 

heres the thing. i write this all, partly to keep these memories forever stuck in words so they are forever tucked in my heart, and partly because I want to share how amazing these girls are. i have friends here that I can call anytime. when I'm low, they will come pull me out of bed if needed. at 9:30pm they will text to say they are stopping in 5 minutes and need supper. on a random day they will text and ask what I need from them as a friend. we do life together. we cry hard. we laugh hard. we sit in the hard. we share hearts in cold cars and tell the truth as we squirm in our socks and we keep each other accountable. we practise love languages and speak temptations and bring each other coffee and flowers and hugs. we eat nachos while we eat our words while we process life's hurdles. we hope as we cope. and yet our friendships are also mundane and we go days without talking sometimes. we let each other down and we get frustrated and we say things we shouldn’t. and we don't always offer grace. and yet at the end of it all we feel seen and that's really all that matters. i used to ask God for people to do life like this with. and i see those prayers in answered form. i don’t take this for granted. 

but now I leave soon. 

and that just yanks at the heart to say bye to these beautiful humans. 

and yet this all has just inspires me to go out and be that friend that people have been to me. this is something i'm still learning.