so we gentry youth pile into a bus
and do youth rally
in goltry/ringwood.
i got to stay night at claralynn's folks place.
just so happened.
lil God moment.
saturday eve
comes the call...
Gramma made it Home. ♥️
doyle books a ticket for his sister.
i try to keep my head clamped on straight.
part of me is really enjoying the rally and all the peeps
and part of me is deep aching knowing im headed home for a funeral
and part of me is heavily peopled out.
there is joy moments this weekend
.like seeing a cartwright girl who married in fairview.
.a friend handing me a bottle of ginger beer.
.bombing around in an ancient topless yellow jeep with couple goltry kids
.a lot of laughter.
.quad ride with friend.
.a black and tan coonhound puppy.
.many convos with people. people who i just met. people who are old time acquaintances. people who know me as “chad's sister” which i embrace that title.
sunday eve
arrive back to gentry-home beat.
did laundry.
slept two hours.
stuffed somewhat-dried clothes into the suitcase
also some the dirty clothes that never did make it to the washer.
and off to tulsa
mr danny and ms tru and i go.
bless.their.hearts.
for driving me in at 3 am.
flights are delayed and missed and rebooked. but it all worked out in the end.
and cousins are at the airport to see.
made it.
into my mama's arms.
and the nieces and nephews into my arms.
oh i love family.
then the funeral of gramma...
Ma and i wore gramma's perfume for the funeral. I also got to have my devos out of grammas Bible that is all worn thin and feels like an absolute treasure to hold.
I heard someone say this was the happiest funeral they ever saw. It's true. There was so much rejoicing that gramma actually made it Home, after so many years of unfaithfulness. There was deep gratitude saturating the air.
Robotically going through all the motions of a funeral again, was slight torture. At viewing, walking into the room the coffin was in, and seeing the first sight of a coffin, hit the tear button. Also our last final viewing brought back moments of standing by eddie’s coffin one final time. The graveside service mixed with those kind of songs hit close to home too. This sadness of souls departing from bodies, is something that I don't have the words to explain. Continually, I thought of eddie. Heaven is so appealing.
The hardest part was the mental exhaustion of being with people, people, people. All the time. I just wanted to collapse into a nap at any given moment. I sat on the couch and watched the living room buzz with laughter and stories and a toddlers presence. With hot tea in hand, I let my mind wander, sometimes listening to convo, sometimes browsing temu. In a million little ways, I am grateful for family being family. At times, I snuck to my room for quietness.
but this trip, I laughed a lot. I have stellar cousins who take humor seriously and to laugh like that is oxygen to a gasping soul.
this trip was all just a blur.
some good things
i walked to doyles one eve and enjoyed a latte with a side of convo. the hound of course comes with.
it rained.
doing laundry in mamas laundry room. drinking coffee from dad's coffee maker. holding kitties from the greenhouse. sitting in the recliner by the dinning table. hearing the squeak of the pantry door. seeing the 1 year olds toddle through the house door.
rocking baby to sleep. her blue eyes. her round face. her smile that is absolutely contagious.
now its time to go back to a big blue house in arkansas...
so ma and i load into van. stop by the shop to hug brother. stop by pasture to scratch the horse's forehead. stop by other brothers house for delectable latte.
then to airport.
trusting I make my connections🤞
- truly grateful for each prayer♥️. I hope one day I can repay all the kindness
found this letter in my stuff. from eddie.
Kommentare