*read at your own risk as im feeling a tad unstable tonight.
On days when the quizzes get a ratchet grading because directions were not followed. But moments before the quiz we had just had a grade discussion on this all - "read directions carefully!" And yet here on my desk sits these quizzes with an unwelcoming number staring back at me. And I wonder…
On days when I holler a bit too loudly at them during frantic football. ‘’Spread out!’’ ‘’where is my team?’’ ‘’nooo we cannot run with the football’’ i wonder…
On days when they have a jillon and one questions and comments and stories and ideas and my mind literally cannot keep up with 6 different kids and their diverse needs and wants and frolicking brains. And I feel like if I see one more hand waving in the air, I just will snap. And so i just tell them, ‘’okay no more talking till recess time.’’ On those days I wonder…
On days when I have to tell them ‘’no, your pencil is too dull. Please go sharpen it.’’ ‘’Yes i know you’re used to using such a dull pencil but I want you to use a sharp one.’’ "No, we sharpen a pencil like this" On days when I have to teach them to chew with their mouths shut, to not slap when they are angry, to not spray cleaner in classmates eyes. One days when I tell them to not lick their desk, to please throw away there snot soaked kleenexes and for the love of peace ‘’please please go straight to the garbage can when you are bringing a paint saturated paper towel to the garbage.’’ but somehow a detailed detour around by the teachers desk and to where classmates are standing looks like the ideal thing to do… and then now there are ummm maybe 5 spots where paint snuck out of the paper towel and onto the rug…
On days when I teach a lesson wrong, or judge unfairly, or go back on my word, I wonder.
On days when there are overdue corrections staring me in the face, when the lessons take way shorter than they should so now there are two bored kids wiggling in their desks and I question every day how picky to be on handwriting.
On days like these, I wonder…
I wonder… I wonder if maybe that quote that I saw on pinterest is true. It was for mamas but I think it can be accurately changed for teachers.
‘’I have to believe that God knew what He was doing when He made me their teacher. And who I am is who they need. And I need them."
That quote hands me a lot of confidence and courage. I think about it often, especially on these days.
It's these days when it's real heart work. and maybe I don't see rewards or results on these days but at the end of the day, I can still look my kids in the eye and say, ''I love you! see you tomorrow!''
Here is the original quote:
‘’I have to believe that God knew what He was doing when He made me their mother. And who I am is who they need.’’ - Lauren Fortenberry
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